Unexpected Guests
by Onimiman
Summary: At the wedding of Jaina Solo and Jagged Fel, they receive some unexpected guests/party crashers; and boy howdie were they unexpected. Post-Apocalypse, AU. Please read and review.


Unexpected Guests

Jaina Solo never believed she would ever think about such a clichéd thought as this one: _My wedding day is the greatest day of my life_. But right now, as she stood at the altar next to her beloved would-be husband Jagged Fel, ready to give their vows, Jaina didn't care if such thoughts were unbecoming of a warrior and Jedi Master of her reputation and stature; to her, this really was the greatest day in her life.

In spite of all that happened mere months earlier–what, with the final battles against the Sith and Abeloth, and the subsequent realization that the Jedi and the Sith would have to be the Ones in order to make sure that Abeloth could never return–it didn't take away from the perfection of this day, Jaina thought. Almost everyone was here in the hangar bay of the Hapan _Dragon Queen II_ witnessing this joyous occasion; Jaina's family, her and Jag's friends, their families as well, etc. Jaina found it surprising that all of Jag's family, including his "shadow brother" Cem, were able to attend.

_Nothing could take away from this day, this _moment, Jaina mused.

As if to simply conflict with her thoughts, the Force suddenly sent out a painful mental wave that all of the Force-sensitives in the hangar bay felt in their temples. They collapsed to their knees in groaning agony as they nursed their heads with their hands. All of the non-Force-sensitives went to find out what was wrong with their Jedi counterparts, such as Jag as he knelt down, placed a hand on his would-be wife's shoulder, and asked in a concerned tone, "Jaina, what's wrong?"

Then, when the wave of pain stopped, no sooner had that occurred then when three figures manifested from out of thin air in the room. They all appeared several meters above the hangar bay deck back down the aisle from which Han had led Jaina to Jag. The three figures began falling to the deck the second they came about in the hangar bay, and they landed prostrate on the hard metal floor beneath them with painful grunts. For those who had their backs turned to the newly arrived figures, such as the bride and groom, they turned to the wedding's latest arrivals with the same amount of confusion as everyone else in the hangar bay had.

The first figure to push himself upright was a relatively average Hutt who began viewing his surroundings with minor trepidation, barely seeming to notice the confused look thrown his way. Jaina swore she recognized this particular Hutt from years back, but she couldn't put her finger on it...

The second of the figures who stood up was a hideously deformed creature who was no doubt a Shamed One–or one of the Extolled, as Tahiri once told Jaina–of the Yuuzhan Vong. Jaina had no trouble remembering this particular individual though, for it was Onimi, the psychotic Shamed One who turned out to be the true ruler of the Yuuzhan Vong and who nearly tried to destroy the galaxy by the end of that war fifteen years earlier. He, believing that Jaina was the Vong Trickster goddess Yun-Harla (on account of the fact that Jaina herself used that guise as psychological warfare against the invaders), tied her up and planned to execute her as one of the first beings to die in his failed plan to exterminate every living being in the galaxy. Onimi was killed by Jaina's late brother, Jacen, in the final battle of the war, and it was the Shamed One's death that led directly to that end of that four-year-long conflict.

It no longer emotionally pained Jaina whenever she thought of her twin brother.

Onimi's appearance drew shocked gasps from the crowd when they saw a Yuuzhan Vong who was even more deformed than the usual Vong. They all grabbed their weapons, blasters and lightsabers alike, and aimed them at Onimi should he dare make a wrong move. Jaina, Han, and Leia were the fastest, seeing as what they knew of Onimi's capabilities–having to have been defeated by a Jedi who had to achieve oneness with the Force in order to kill him had to be more than formidable; and now that he was back, given that he was supposed to be dead, there was no such thing as being extra cautious at this point.

But all attention immediately shifted to the third figure who stood up and revealed himself.

Jacen Solo.

Stunned silence followed. Onimi was one thing, but Jacen, the one who beat the Shamed One, was another entirely. Everyone seemed to forget that they had weapons at that moment.

"Jacen?" Jaina said, her lightsaber lowered.

Her twin brother smiled and spread his arms out wide open. "Sis!" he exclaimed happily. "Why don't you come over here and give your little brother a big hug before you get married to Colonel Uptight over there." Then, placing one hand beside his mouth as he leaned sideways in Jaina's direction, he mock-whispered, "And believe me, I'm being nice when calling him Colonel Uptight, on account of your marriage to him."

"It was my idea, don't forget," the Hutt imparted uneasily.

"Randa, shut the kriff up," Onimi said. "Right here, you're outta your element, so just let Jacen talk, okay?"

Putting aside the shocking appearance of her brother in the hangar bay, along with the slightly-less surprising appearance of the sole Yuuzhan Vong responsible for his species' galactic invasion, the mention of the Hutt's name clicked into Jaina's mind; Randa, the Hutt on Duro during the war who Jaina caught red-handed for selling the New Republic out to the Vong via the late, treacherous Kuati Senator Viqi Shesh. She didn't find out what became of the Hutt on the planet, but she didn't care, so she didn't ask anyone in her family about his fate.

"Fine, if you say so," Randa replied sardonically.

"Jacen... how are you still alive?" Jaina asked. "And what are all three of you doing here?" Then she indicated Onimi individually. "And how is he alive?"

"Hi, Yun-Harla," Onimi said in a teasing tone with a mock-friendly wave.

"That's quite a long story," Jacen replied to Jaina's multiple questions before he spread his arms out again. "Now, seriously, that hug?" When Jaina didn't make a move, Jacen continued with, "No?" Then he looked around the hangar deck. "Anyone else? Mom? Dad? Tenel Ka? Uncle Luke? Ben? Anyone? Anyone? A-nyone?" Seeing that no one else made a move, he lowered his arms and said, "Okay then, I guess it could wait. Now why don't I just place myself over on the Jedi side with Onimi right here." He then made a move with Onimi over to where the Jedi were lined up, and Randa prepared to follow them.

"No, no, you go over to the non-Force-using side, Randa," Onimi said.

The Hutt sighed in acquiescence. "Okay." Then he turned and slithered over to the non-Jedi side while Jacen squeezed between Corran Horn and Kyle Katarn and Onimi went between Kyle and Kyp Durron. When silence permeated, Jacen thought he could get a little social as he asked, "Hey, Corran, how're the wife and kids?"

When Corran didn't reply and only stared back at Jacen with a look of incredulity, the younger man looked away and then finally noticed how the awkward silence was more than ruining the wedding.

"Um, okay, is this because Onimi, Randa, and I all crashed the party, because I will only say this once: I'm sorry none of us brought any of our wedding invitations, because we didn't get any. Okay? Okay. So can we continue on with the wedding or do we have to start this whole thing over again so my friends and I can get proper wedding invitations?"

Then Luke and Ben Skywalker, along with Han and Leia Solo, appeared before Jacen. Jacen stared back at his family members in curiosity in regards to how they seemed to give him stern looks of disapproval.

"Jacen, you've got a lot of explaining to do," Luke said.

Jacen was at a loss for words from the way his uncle said that sentence. But Onimi broke up the tension when he said, "Could we at least get on with the wedding first?"

Giving Onimi a look, Luke then turned to Jaina. "How about it, Jaina, shall we continue with the ceremony?"

Hesitating for a few seconds, Jaina and Jag looked to each other. Jaina nodded first, then Jag followed before they looked back to Luke. "Yeah, yeah, I think we should continue," Jaina announced hurriedly.

"Very well," Luke said before he turned back to Jacen. Giving him one final admonishing look, he turned with Ben, Han, and Leia, and they resumed their places, with Jacen now wondering what all these admonishing looks were about as the wedding continued.

~o~

At the subsequent party celebrating the wedding, things were quiet and reserved given the unexpected appearances of Jacen and his two comrades. And the tone rose barely above that even after Luke took Jacen, Onimi, and Randa out of the hangar bay and in one of the hallways leading away. Ben, Han, and Leia were all with them.

"Start talking," Luke said sternly to Jacen.

"Well, where do you want me to begin?" Jacen asked.

"How about how all three of you are still alive," Han intoned.

"You actually remember my version here, Han Solo?" Randa asked in disbelief.

"Don't get carried away with yourself, Randa, so shut up," Onimi said.

"Wait, what do you mean how all three of us are still alive?" Jacen asked.

"Version here?" Luke asked. Then he looked to Jacen. "What is he talking about?"

"This Randa is from an alternate reality," Jacen explained casually.

"Alternate reality?" Han asked. "What kind of spice are you smoking, Jacen?"

"The best kind," Jacen said as he pulled out a clear, plastic bag of green powder from his pants pocket. His family members' eyes widened at the site of the drug. "Seriously, you should all try this. I'm totally willing to share, since neither Onimi or Randa will accept any of my offers."

"I simply prefer to have all of my faculties with me," Randa briefly explained.

"Shut up," Han said to the Hutt.

"Knark," Jacen said to the Hutt.

"I can just make myself get high by combining all of the molecules I fashion in my body to produce an extremely calming effect–" Onimi began explaining.

"Shut up," Han interrupted the Yuuzhan Vong.

"Show-off," Jacen said to Onimi.

"Give me that, young man!" Leia said as she snatched the bag out of her son's hand.

"Hey, what the kriff, Mom?" Jacen exclaimed. "That was my spice! I said I was willing to share!"

"You're not doing drugs, and neither are the rest of us," Leia said.

"I can still do it of my own accord," Onimi said.

"Shut up," Leia said to the Vong.

"Fine, kriff you, too, you stuck-up smooka," Onimi said off-handedly.

Luke, Ben, Han, and Leia all looked at Onimi in shock at what he just said.

"Dude, that wasn't cool," Jacen said to his deformed friend.

"Well, hey, it's true," Onimi replied, seemingly oblivious to the hostile looks that he was being given.

"I know, it's true, but you still can't–"

"Wait, wait, wait, Jacen, you actually agree with him?" Leia asked. "You think I'm a stuck-up smooka?"

Jacen's eyes widened nervously. "Uh..."

"I'm your mother, Jacen, you can't lie to me."

"Well, I'm not exactly sure you'd like the true answer, Mom."

"It's because I took your spice, isn't it?"

"Well... yeah," Jacen said hesitantly.

Leia sighed and rolled her eyes in frustration. "How could you even think that way?"

"Leia, calm down," Luke said. "Let me handle this."

"Fine, Luke," Leia said as she off-handedly waved at her son.

"So, spice aside, what is this about an alternate reality?" Luke asked. "Because Randa himself seems not to take any spice, and in spite of his species' immunity to Force suggestions, I've sensed no lies in him. Care to explain this, Jacen?"

"Well, while I was on my five year journey following the Yuuzhan Vong War," Jacen began, "I'm sure you all know that I came across the Aing-Tii."

"We know that, and that they taught you how to flow-walk," Ben said. "What about them?"

"Well, the first time I flow-walked, I ended up back in time during the Yuuzhan Vong War, specifically when I was with Dad and Jaina and Randa on Duro," Jacen said. "But when I got there, I knew there was something wrong."

"And what was that?" Luke asked.

"Well, Duro was an ecological paradise, Jaina was a prissy little girly-girl who didn't know the first thing about how to wield a hydrospanner, much less how to fix or pilot an X-wing, and Dad was a grieving widower who got on fat on chocolates," Jacen said. "Of course, the New Republic was actually run by a competent Borsk Fey'lya, Uncle Luke's Jedi Order was still as small when he started it, and the Yuuzhan Vong were nowhere in sight. The only reason Randa was on Duro was because he was a fugitive Hutt who didn't like the practices his people were making of in slavery, so he was kind of a renegade rogue at that. So I figured I was in some kind of alternate reality.

"I decided to take Randa with me because I couldn't leave him alone to be executed by his own people simply because he disagreed with their inhumane policies. But when I tried to get back to the Aing-Tii, I ended up on a Yuuzhan Vong worldship, where Randa and I ran into Onimi right here. At first, I wanted to stop him so I could stop the Yuuzhan Vong War, but even though I sensed that he was mentally imbalanced, he could still be saved from corruption. Randa and I soon learned that his people had yet to conquer that reality's galaxy, and since I had learned by the end of the war here that his people were able to invade the galaxy because he took over Shimrra and overthrew Quoreal, I decided to take Onimi with me.

"After that, I found I couldn't get myself or Onimi or Randa to any reality for whatever reason had occurred during the flow-walking. We were kept in that tunnel of interdimensional Force energy–that was really all I could make of it anyway–for a good five to seven years. During that time, we all learned to get along with each other, and Onimi, with his powers of creating chemicals and all, was able to extend my spice use along the way, even though we didn't need to eat, drink, sleep, or anything like that. It was weird, I tell ya, especially since he didn't let out any fumes whenever he got himself high.

"I only just found this reality, and seeing that Jaina was getting ready to marry that Fel guy, I figured I just had to drop in; I didn't wanna miss my sister's wedding, even if it was to Colonel Uptight." He then turned to Randa. "And yes, I will acknowledge that you came up with the idea so I could at least be a little diplomatic when we all crashed in on the wedding."

"Thank you, Jacen," Randa said with what amounted to a nod for a Hutt. Onimi rolled his eyes in annoyance at that... or maybe it was because he was getting himself high at that moment. Or maybe it was both.

"So, wait, you're saying that you're from an alternate reality?" Ben asked, curious.

"Well, I'm not sure if this is a different reality or if this is my home one," Jacen said. "So who could know?"

"We would know," Han said, "because you're definitely from an alternate reality."

"Well, how do you know?" Jacen asked.

He immediately regretted asking that question once Luke, Ben, Han, and Leia each began telling him of the stories from the Dark Nest Crisis onwards. Hearing that his version here became an evil Sith Lord named Darth Caedus who killed Mara was truly disheartening.

"Well, that would explain why Mara isn't here," Jacen commented at one point.

When everyone was done, Jacen said, "So, wait, I can't be a Jedi anymore, is that what you're saying?"

"None of us are saying," Luke said. "We're all willing to welcome you to this reality, Jacen, but like I said, you have to commit."

"Right, right, that's why Tenel Ka had to drop out, I get it," Jacen said. "Can't believe I have a daughter here though."

"So what's your decision?" Luke asked.

"I think I'll drop out," Jacen said. "I don't wanna be part of this Order anyway."

"Very well," Luke said. "But out of curiosity, what will you do?"

Jacen turned to Onimi and Randa. "Hey, guys, you wanna find a planet where we can go bowling?"

"What's bowling?" Onimi asked.

"It's a sport among humans," Randa explained briefly. "I kinda like it. Maybe you will, too, if you give it a try."

"Fine, what the hell," Onimi shrugged. "Where do you suggest we go, Jacen?"

"Hell if I know, let's just find a planet that won't want my head on account of what this reality's version of me did to this galaxy a couple years back," Jacen said.

"Well, maybe you could find shelter with the Jedi Order for the while until you can get back up on your feet?" Leia asked.

"Do I get to have my spice back?"

"No," Leia shook her head.

"Then kriff it, I'll take possible death," Jacen said before looking back to Onimi and Randa. "You guys with me?"

"Sure, why not," Onimi said apathetically. He had to be high right now, Jacen thought.

"I think it's wiser if we stick to the Order for just a while," Randa said.

"Well, Onimi and I outvote you, so we're going for the risk of death, Randa," Jacen said.

"Since when did this become a democracy?" Randa asked.

"Since you'd suggest we be in a place where I can't get high, man," Jacen said.

"Something tells me that if Onimi disagreed with you, you would have said that you outranked us and got to make all the decisions," Randa replied.

"No, I wouldn't have!"

"Yes, you would have."

"Wouldn't have!"

"Would have!"

"Wouldn't have!"

"Would have!"

"Wouldn't have!"

"Would have!"

"Would have!" Jacen concluded.

Hesitant at what Jacen said, Randa said, "Yes."

"Damn, I thought that would work!" Jacen said.

"Well, either way, I say we go Jacen's way," Onimi said. "Hey, that rhymes!"

"Wait, why do I have to go with you two?" Randa asked.

"Because you were with us all that time in that interdimensional Force tunnel, that's why," Jacen said.

Ignoring Jacen's answer, Randa asked, "Hey, Onimi, what do you think?"

"I agree with Jacen on this one," Onimi replied. "You gotta come with us."

"I thought you didn't care because you're high," Randa said.

"Oh, no, I am high, I just like kriffin' around with you because it gives me my jollies," Onimi said.

"What, why would you do that to me, Onimi?"

"Because you're the straight one of the group; I like to torture you psychologically like this."

"Kriff you, Onimi," Randa said.

"I wish a sexy Yuuzhan Vong chick did just that to me, man," Onimi said.

"At least I can get with a member of my own species, considering I'm actually considered quite attractive among them," Randa said.

"Oh, yeah, you have anyone in mind? What's his name?" Onimi asked rhetorically. Then he laughed.

"Actually, I can mate with a so-called 'male' of my species and still spawn, considering my people's hermaphrodite nature–"

"Shut the kriff up, I was trying to make fun of you," Onimi said.

"Well, if you were going to make fun of me, try to have some facts first, you hideous creature!" Randa said. Then he interrupted what Onimi was about to say with: "And I say that basing my knowledge off of the fact that you can't get with anyone of your species on account of your undesirable appearance to them."

"Hey, how do you know I'm undesirable to my own people?" Onimi asked.

"You just said it a few moments ago," Randa said.

"Oh, yeah, I did," Onimi said in reflection. Then he looked back to the Skywalkers and Solos, only to find that they weren't there. "Hey, where did they go?"

"They went back to the party because they didn't wanna be a part of this conversation anymore," Jacen replied flippantly. "C'mon, guys, let's go find a ship and get the hell outta here. We gotta find some good spice first and foremost before we go bowling." He led the way back into the hangar bay to find the ship one of the spare Hapan shuttles that Luke promised Jacen and which he would clear by way of Tenel Ka.


End file.
